Anyone who believes you can’t change history has never tried to write his memoirs. ~David Ben-Gurion
Memoir vs. Journal Writing
A client asked me, “When is material too personal and when is it fit to be published? And, how much do you have to write for it to truly be a memoir?”
Her questions took me back to one of my first memoir classes where the same questions were addressed to my writing teacher. She gave a distinction between journal writing and writing a memoir that I have passed on to many clients. When writing in a journal, most people write for themselves praying no one else will lay their eyes on a single page. When writing a memoir, though you are still writing about your experiences, you do so with your reader in mind.
I won’t mention names, but a memoir written by a famous Hollywood personality was published a few years back. I love reading memoirs and purchased it while still in hardcover. After reading the first couple of chapters, I returned the book and more than ever understood what my writing teacher was referring to. I was sure that if this person had been anyone other than who she was, the book would never have been picked up by a publisher nor made it to the shelves of major booksellers. Reading it, I heard my mind say, “Who cares?” I was also embarrassed for her. True, books enjoyed by some are often rejected by another; but this one was a doozy.
When writing a memoir, you wind up deleting a lot of the details in your journal that would be considered filler and start detailing the major experiences, feelings, and events that make your life unique and interesting to read about. This of course goes for the one you wish to publish. If you’re writing it for yourself or for your children and grandchildren, you might still want to edit quite a bit, but you have much more leeway. My suggestion would be to read a few memoirs. See how they are written. See what grabs you and what puts you to sleep. Check out a few from the library. You don’t even have to read the whole book. Browse the table of contents and read bits and pieces of a few chapters you find of interest.
A memoir I highly recommend is The Glass House by Jeannette Walls.
Preparing to write a memoir can seem daunting. There are many ways to start. William Zinsser, the author of How to Write a Memoir, suggests that you go to your desk on Monday morning and write about an event that is still vivid in your memory. What you write doesn’t have to be long — three pages, five pages — but it should have a beginning and an end. Do the same thing Tuesday morning. Tuesday’s episode doesn’t have to be related to Monday’s episode. Take whatever memory comes calling; your subconscious mind, having been put to work, will start delivering your past. Do this for as long as it takes to collect the particular parts of your life you’d like to write about.
If you are planning to write about your life from your birth to the present time (an autobiography), Author Cathy Fulton suggests creating lists. Here are a few of her ideas.
1. Keep an ongoing list of the crucial events that took place in each era of your life.
(Births, deaths, marriages, adventures, milestones, etc.)
2. List the friends and enemies you had during each era. Note the special relationships you had.
3. List all the jobs you held.
4. List your educational experiences from each era. (Life experiences count as education)
5. List the historical events and trends that shaped each era and the impact those events had on you.
6. Include all the geographical areas where you lived.
7. Your goals, aspirations, and dreams in each era.
8. The painful things that happened. Broken relationships, hope dashed, abuse, fears.
9. List your accomplishments in each era. Writing about how you achieved each one is a story.
Let her list be a stimulus for creating one of your own. If you have a hard time remembering events, take a walk down memory lane with your photo albums. Those old photos will surely be a substantive catalyst. And you can always give yourself creative license where memory fails.
How many pages constitute a memoir? That is hard to judge. Again, you want to determine if it’s for your family or the public eye. The majority of published books are between 200 and 250 pages. Consider what you want to include, who it’s for, and then start to write. If you have more than you need for your first book, then you’ll be ahead of the game for your second volume.
Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.
Enjoy!
Jasmyne
This article was first published in Jasmyne’s bi-weekly “Consider This“-column in the Maui Weekly, on April 23, 2008