Take Note – Sharing Your Writing
 
I have a client who is an excellent writer and has published a number of successful books. His most recent book, however, is his first memoir. His sister visited him over the holidays and with enthusiastic innocence, he asked her to read a few chapters. Not a writer herself, she didn’t realize the crushing effect her words carried when she said, “Why would you want to write about all that stuff that happened so long ago? Besides, you got it all wrong.”

I tell you this for a few reasons. One, family members will notoriously have different versions of the same story.

One of my favorite quotes about memoirs is, “Anyone who believes you can’t change history has never tried to write his memoirs.” David Ben-Gurion.

My second reason for telling you this is that writing your memoir can almost be equated to giving birth. (Men and women who have not given birth, think of your most creative endeavor.) It is an extremely personal matter. It is your creation.

As Montaigne says, “It is not my deeds that I write down, it is myself, my essence.”

Even though you may think you are ready for objective feedback, if you’re a first-time writer, you probably aren’t. Giving constructive feedback is an art. Most people, as hard as they might try, tend to interject unskillful criticism in their attempt to be helpful. For the most part, it is not intentional. For this reason, I urge you to be careful about sharing your work too soon in your writing process. More than one good writer has found their way to my doorstop crushed by unqualified advice from meaningful well-wishers.

Keep writing, and enjoy the process!